Every time I steer things selfishly, and usually this is the lazy path-of-least-resistance variety of selfishness, things don't turn out well for anyone, including (and especially) for me.
So selfishness starts looking a lot like a hoax. Sort of a self-delusion, or a vision guided by flawed logic and self-centered fear. I have a hard time thinking of an occasion where acting selfishly got me something that made me happier.
For example, when I decide I can't muster up the energy to show up to your thing (whatever it is) but need to sulk at home and watch TV, it just keeps me in the pits. If I get that moment of reflection to consider this as selfish behavior and decide (big sigh) to put my big girl pants on and risk people viewing me in clothes that aren't perfect over a body that isn't perfect and show up, it almost ALWAYS brings me into greater connection and gives my peaceful, happy self a better chance of blowing off those fearful thoughts and feelings.
I love the part of the Third Step prayer (see Alcoholics Anonymous if that's not familiar) that says "free me from the bondage of self that I may better do thy will."
Selfishness is just a nutty lie to myself.
